


Drunk

by wolftea



Series: Valduggery Oneshots [11]
Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M, Valduggery - Freeform, originally posted in 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:59:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolftea/pseuds/wolftea





	Drunk

Valkyrie had never felt so free. She watched as the group of people she was with, her friends no, her family, danced to music she'd never heard before in her life.

Valkyrie was content.

Then she saw Skulduggery.

Well. Nearly content.

Valkyrie Cain was many things: one of the good guys, one of the bad guys, a sister, a daughter, a best friend and a very powerful sorcerer. In fact over the last five years Valkyrie had discovered much about herself. Working with Skulduggery had been a journey of self discovery to say the least.

But no amount of training could have prepared Valkyrie for what she was feeling this particular morning. Her head was pounding and her stomach felt like it had been turned inside out. Every noise was amplified at least by ten and Valkyrie was pretty sure if she opened her eyes she'd vomit.

It appeared she had met her match.

Damn hangover.

She'd never been a drinker, but last night was cause for celebration.

Tanith was back, remnant free.

The night had begun innocently enough. Skulduggery, Ghastly, Erskine, Fletcher, Tanith and herself had been at an official Sanctuary party celebrating the success and then ended up back at Skulduggery's.

What happened next was currently eluding her. Grumbling quietly, she tried to sit up. Her stomach gurgled in protest but she managed to hold herself together.

She opened her eyes a little and then shut them immediately. The room was spinning haphazardly and Valkyrie clamped a hand to her mouth. She felt coolness on her forehead and a bucket pushed into her hands.

"I'm fine," Valkyrie tried to say but threw up half way through.

Cursing her treacherous stomach, Valkyrie was grateful for the hands sweeping back her hair and then the cold glass of water pressed against her lips once she was finished.

"Skulduggery..?" She croaked quietly, but was unconscious before whoever had helped her could answer.

Alcohol made Valkyrie brave. Tanith's influence certainly wasn't helping either. Valkyrie knew she should get off the table. She knew that tomorrow (or later on today, was that the sun coming up or just the lightbulb?) she would regret this, but right now she didn't care.

She noticed Skulduggery staring at her and took another swig of her drink. But then Tanith was gone; dragged off the table by a very mischievous looking Ghastly.

Alcohol suddenly wasn't enough to keep Valkyrie on the table and she began to wonder how on earth she was going to get down. She lifted a foot somewhat hesitantly and put it down. This was not going to work. Valkyrie took a step forward hoping that the ground wasn't too far away, when she fell straight into Skulduggery's arms.

She stared into his sockets, her skin hyper aware of his arms around her waist and legs. Valkyrie reached up and touched his cheek bone gently.

"Skulduggery." She whispered.

The second time Valkyrie awoke, she felt slightly more human and a lot more humiliated. Her memories were still fuzzy but her gut feeling (aside from nausea) was to avoid everyone at all cost. Something told her she'd done a lot worse than fall off a table.

Deciding a shower was more than necessary, she clambered out of bed. Her head span again but it wasn't too bad and her eyes remained open. She was still at Skulduggery's house. Brilliant. There was no way she'd make it to the bathroom without alerting someone she was up.

Making sure she was appropriately clothed, Valkyrie began the walk of shame to the bathroom. She never thought she'd be using ambush techniques to avoid being seen hung over. But that was exactly what she was doing; sticking close to the wall so the floorboards didn't creak and watching for any movement or shadows.

She had never been more relieved when she reached the bathroom unseen. Stepping into the shower she could've cried at the feeling of hot water pouring down her body. After what seemed like hours Valkyrie finally turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her. She wandered back to her room, slightly surprised no one was up and about.

She checked her clock. 6:30am. She'd had two hours sleep. Valkyrie's head spun again and she sat down. This drinking thing was not fun. Wishing she could remember more of what she'd done last night, she slowly began to get dressed.

"Valkyrie, be reasonable. Even if you did somehow manage to steal all my hats AND make it out the country alive, there is no way you'd be able to hide forever."

Valkyrie plucked the hat off Skulduggery's hatstand and put it on.

"You wouldn't kill me over a hat." She said, half aware she was slurring but not caring.

"My dear Valkyrie. I've killed for less."

"I know. But you wouldn't kill me. I'm your favourite."

Skulduggery cocked his head, "I didn't think it was possible, but your ego has actually gotten bigger."

Valkyrie scoffed. "My ego? I don't even have an ego when you're around. There's no point. Yours is too big to even orbit. Besides. I am your favourite and you love me. So there."

"Repeating yourself does not make for evidence."

Valkyrie mimicked him mockingly.

"Repeating me just makes you annoying." Skulduggery pointed out as he lunged for her; Valkyrie exploding into a fit of laughter as his fingers found her stomach.

"Alright! Alright. I won't do it again. If you're not careful I'll accidentally crush your beloved hat."

Skulduggery whisked it off her head and placed it on the table.

"When did you activate your facade?"

Valkyrie stared into sea-blue eyes.

"You elbowed me when I was tickling you."

Skulduggery's face was inches from hers.

"Right. Sorry about that."

"You have vicious elbows."

"I'll remember that from now on."

They were nose to nose now; she could feel his breath on her lips.

"You're very drunk." Skulduggery said quietly.

Valkyrie half shrugged, "I don't mind. I bet you used to make a fun drunk."

Skulduggery chuckled darkly but said nothing. Valkyrie absentmindedly ran her free hand through his hair and suddenly his lips were on hers, fuelled by passion and longing. She had no idea who'd initiated the kiss but damn well wasn't going to be the one who stopped it.

Skulduggery pulled away only to trail kisses down her neck. She felt him smile against her when he began biting her earlobe and she moaned his name. He reclaimed her lips, harder this time and she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him closer to her.

He pulled away to look at her.

"I love you."

Valkyrie put her head in her hands. Dear God how much had she had to drink last night? And where was everyone else while she made-out with Skulduggery? Had they done more than just kiss? What was worse; she couldn't remember who had said the "I love you." She couldn't even remember getting into her bed; her last memory was with Skulduggery, on the couch in one of his living rooms.

Regardless of the details, she was in trouble.

She needed to speak to Skulduggery. They needed to sort this out.

The journey downstairs was long and surprisingly difficult. Each step down, each subtle change of gravity made Valkyrie close her eyes in an effort to settle her stomach.

By the time she made it to the kitchen bench, she was exhausted. Skulduggery's voice made her jump.

"How's the head?"

Valkyrie noted the coolness that laced his voice and tried to ignore the feeling of dread in her stomach.

"Worse for wear. Self inflicted. I'll be fine."

Skulduggery nodded once, sharp and quick. The silence threatened to consume them both so Valkyrie spoke again.

'I assume it was you earlier on this morning that held my hair back and got me water."

"Indeed it was."

"Well... Thanks for that." Valkyrie finished lamely, cringing at the awkwardness.

"Remember much?"

Valkyrie paused before answering. If she lied, there was a chance everything could go back to normal. They could both pretend nothing ever happened.

Valkyrie sighed. There was no way that was going to happen. She slid off the bar stool and sat on the floor below Skulduggery's chair, resting her chin on his knee.

"I remember everything," she admitted, "well, I remember the main events. I'm still a little fuzzy on some minor details."

"I see." Skulduggery surveyed her over the top of his fingertips. "Enlighten me on your memories Valkyrie."

"I remember being at Gordon's, then getting here. Dancing with Tanith on a table. I remember her being dragged off by Ghastly. Then I think I fell off the table and you caught me. Thanks for that."

"Any time. What else?"

"Um. Well. Then it gets a bit blurry, I think everyone left and it was just you and me." Valkyrie wished the ground would swallow her whole. "I remember arguing over your hat. I think you subtly threatened to kill me if I ever took it. Then you tickled me." Valkyrie rubbed her arm. "I have vicious elbows."

Skulduggery chuckled and Valkyrie could have cried tears of joy.

"We looked at each other for awhile and then either I kissed you or you kissed me and then either I told you I loved you or you told me. They're two minor details I can't remember. Oh, that and the fact that I then can't remember anything else until throwing up." Valkyrie finished, red-faced.

"Does it matter?"

Valkyrie frowned and looked up at Skulduggery.

"Does what matter? What sort of question is that?"

Skulduggery slid gracefully off the couch and joined Valkyrie on the floor.

"Does it matter who kissed who first? Or who said 'I love you'?" He asked quietly.

Valkyrie looked into his sockets, watching the shadows dance. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

"No," she said finally, "I suppose not. If that's how you want to deal with this." Valkyrie felt herself getting angry and was too tired to control it. "I mean, if you want to ignore what happened and forget this whole thing, sure. Go ahead."

"That's not what-" Skulduggery began but Valkyrie cut him off.

"I know we avoid big issues Skulduggery, but seriously, something like this? This changes the whole dynamic of our friendship regardless whether you admit it or not."

"Valkyrie you've misunderstood what I'm trying to say."

She ignored him. "Am I really that bad that we can't even talk about this for a-"

Skulduggery grabbed Valkyrie's face in his hands and pressed his teeth against her lips. She froze for a split second before kissing him gently and pulling away.

"Oh." She said quietly. "You meant... Yes. I get it now. It doesn't matter at all."

"Well done. It took you long enough."

Valkyrie nodded, eyes closed.

"You're going to throw up again aren't you?"

"Yep. It's looking likely." She managed a smile. "It's because you're such a bad kisser."

Skulduggery snorted. "I'll get the bucket."


End file.
